🔗 Share this article

Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a handful of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third season began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have known it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual escapades as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.